Monthly Archives: October 2011

Reflections in a Coffee Cup

Fresh Roasted CoffeeI don’t drink coffee very often, but today when I went to visit the farmer’s market I decided to look for a cup of coffee. I never got to look at my face in the cup of coffee, but never-the-less I saw the reflection of myself and humanity in it.  Amazingly, there was only one stall that sold coffee in the market and the pot and server were nowhere to be found. So, I asked a couple:”Where do they sell coffee?” They told me they were in line there because they had been told this was the only place that sold coffee there, but they couldn’t find someone to serve them. So, I went to the back of the stall to look for someone to inquire about the coffee. The grandmotherly-type woman followed me back to the front saying the pot was usually right in front – and, suddenly, there it was even though all three of us hadn’t seen it. However, someone had “cut the line” and was now serving themselves a cup of coffee. What followed next was beyond humorous to me.  I decided right then and there that probably the carafe held four large cups of coffee, with one being served up right then and there. The couple would make it three, and if I was lucky, I might get one. So, I told the couple to go first, because they had been there first, in the event the coffee ran out. They said, no I should go first, and while we were discussing it, the person who cut the line signaled a friend to take another cup of coffee and cut the line, too. The elderly couple took one look and left in disgust. So, I figure there might be a cup left for me, but no sooner did I think that, then this same guy invited several more friends to take a cup and cut the line. Was he aware of what he was doing? To me, it didn’t matter whether he did it on purpose or not. I rarely drink coffee, I prefer tea. I think I create my reality, so I chalked it up to a humorous almost “Laurel and Hardy” moment and left.

Are We Entitled to a Cup of Coffee?

I was still mulling this funny happening and I mentioned it to a couple of friends I came with to the market. You would have thought I told them that someone had taken a child from me. All sorts of belief systems I hadn’t bothered to engage suddenly entered the conversation. One woman thought the guy was “rude” but I never said he did it on purpose. We were standing in a crowd, he just may not have noticed there was a line. Another woman wanted to know why I didn’t tell him he cut the line and demand “your cup of coffee.” Again, it was a carafe set in the middle of a crowded market place and my name wasn’t on it.  Was the man selfish or just sharing a good thing with friends? Was he cutting a line or did he just not notice it? However, for some reason the fact that I desired a cup of coffee was paramount in my friends’ minds and they decided that I should have insisted on getting one, even though I mentioned to them before the whole thing started that I preferred tea, but was thinking maybe coffee would be good. I had already prepared not to receive the cup of coffee as I had volunteered it to the couple waiting. In my mind, I had not lost anything, no one had been rude, and it was just something funny that happens when people get together in a confused setting.

Twisted Leadership Values in America

I guess my reaction was just too laid back because all of a sudden I was told about the proper way to “demand my cup of coffee” in an assertive manner and suddenly I understood why our species loves to make war. There are so many beliefs about what is mine and what is yours, and it is all based on desire first. I had a desire for a cup of coffee, and for some reason that means I claim “dibs” to it. What a childish view of the world. In my mind, the coffee was a resource to be shared and I was happy to share it and let others enjoy it, even if I wanted it. All the more reason to share it and not get any of it. I know it sounds odd, but knowing others are enjoying it is enough of an “experience of coffee” to satisfy me since I prefer tea, anyways! It wasn’t like there isn’t coffee available in the pantry at home, I can’t find another cup somewhere else, or having it right at the moment was more important than sharing it – even if that sharing is what others perceive as “theft.” For that view of the world, I am now looked on as not having sufficient “leadership” qualities or that I am not assertive. They’re right. If they think I will ever argue over a cup of coffee, insist on rules of behavior, and engage judgments and morals for a sharable resource that is to provide enjoyment to people in the end, then I make a lousy leader. I prefer to view life differently. I am not the type of leader that would ever wage war over a cup of coffee.

Underlying Energy Expressions of Leadership Values

This ideal that a leader is the person who gets what they want all the time is really nothing more than veiled greed. The ideal that I should make the decision for others on how to act is another word for control. These two energies, if I were to put them into action would do nothing for me in the end, and would end up destroying those around me. You see, I know how energy works, and I know how to create my reality. Just because I choose not to have a cup of coffee does not mean I don’t know how to lead. I was asked once how I lead, and I gave a methodical answer of hierarchy. Why? The reason is that leadership, the way I exercise it, is practically an unknown model right now. It relies on understanding energy and that is a concept that would take way too long to explain in one blog or one interview. I cannot explain a high level concept like that when the majority of people right now are willing to fight over a cup of coffee – completely missing the energy this puts into place! Frankly, I don’t have to lead, in the traditional sense, to get what I want. I also do not need to be in a position of authority to lead. I exercise leadership only when I am trying to get what others want for them. It is completely voluntary, not appointed, and sometimes, I may choose not to lead as an example to people around me on what happens when they refuse to balance the energy relying on me to do it for them, instead. In that situation, I may turn from being a very warm and helpful person to a flat, cold, mirror and you can expect havoc, but it’s not my fault. It was not my energy that caused the problem, I merely withdraw my energy and watch things break down. Of course, people like it better when things are balanced, but I won’t balance an environment if all it does is give people an excuse to fail to balance their own energies. That would be counter-productive. The minute I leave, things would fall apart, anyways.

Demands are Victim Beliefs

Now, I’ll let you all in on a secret. What’s the real reason I didn’t demand that cup of coffee? I rarely demand anything because I know my needs are always met. Only someone who believes they are a victim makes demands (whether they are in a position of leadership or not) – someone who doesn’t trust that the universe can provide for them what they need. Someone who engages war, not peace. There is a lot of talk about why the Wall Street protestors are not issuing demands. There is also talk about how this movement is ineffective without a traditional leader. Just sit still for a while and listen. Listen to the energy being expressed. Listen to the belief structures falling. Listen to change finally coming in from people who actually get it. It will not even matter then that they aren’t even firing a shot or demanding their cup of coffee – or maybe it matters more than ever. The universe will mirror back that energy and it will express itself in objective imagery suitable to people engaging their Divine Creator matrix that does not even acknowledge that there ever was a victim in the first place.