I have a business proposition for you. You see, it’s come to my attention that California is 24 billion dollars in debt and suffering badly. I have debt on my ledger too, and I know how painful it is to be short of money, especially for needed services. It also came to my attention that you are planning on handing out IOUs to your suppliers and vendors, students, and some needy individuals and social service programs. I feel really bad, you know, because I was born in California and I want to help you guys out. At any rate, I think it’s a brilliant plan and you are on the right track, especially as banks in the state are on board to take those IOUs as payment, like real dollars from what I hear. I just think you haven’t taken this idea far enough. That’s why this business proposition occurred to me. We can help each other. You see you’ve solved the problem that’s been plaguing me since this recession started. I can’t pay off my debts in full and now some of my debt, in credit cards, is at 30% even though I wasn’t late when they hiked the rates. But, that’s neither here nor there. The point is, we both have a golden opportunity now to get America back on track.
Here is what I propose:
Instead of cutting back on purchases, you go whole hog on buying up everyone’s debt around the country that has exorbitant interest rates tacked onto it that in any other day and age would be called “malicious usury.” I mean, really, what’s a few more billions when you’re already 24 billion in the hole, right? That’s right, anyone and everyone who has a predatory lender on their tail – you promise to buy their debt. In exchange, for that service, we will pay you instead of the bank at the maximum rate that you have set for your IOUS: 5%. Then, you turn around and buy out the debt contract from the bank using IOUs, transferring their monthly income to your balance sheet, with no appreciable cost to implement. It’s a win-win-win. You get instant income of millions (maybe even billions) of dollars EVERY MONTH for many months – from outside the state, all over the United States, in fact! You’ll be inundated with grateful debtors and might even be canonized as Saint Arnold by the Catholic Church (okay, maybe not!). We get a simple interest rate that allows us to pay back our debts while still making a living wage. The banks get their money in IOUs and balance their ledgers, and there are no extra expenses on your balance sheet until October! America is saved!
Please let me know if this is a reasonable proposition and at what time we can go ahead and get this show on the road!